In search of hope...
Trigger Warning: Suicide
My name is Bethan Evans, and I am the proud creator of the campaign, Messages of Hope.
Back in 2020, Messages of Hope was just a seedling of an idea that was planted when I started on my journey in search of hope.
As I’m sure many people can relate to, 2020 was the beginning of a very difficult and challenging time for me. Alongside having to cope with the news of a potential global pandemic on the horizon, and trying to complete my second year at university, I was also just starting to emotionally unpack a series of unfortunate and traumatic events from my past. The more I unpacked, the more difficult things became and the more began to struggle with my mental health.
Very quickly I completely lost sight of who I was, my goals and what I had to live for. I felt utterly hopeless. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was at the beginning of a long battle against Borderline Personality Disorder, (also referred to as, Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). This mental illness seeped its way into every aspect of my life until I began to believe that the only escape from the torment was suicide. I spent hours, days, and weeks, questioning the point of living and telling myself that, ‘nobody would care if I weren’t alive anymore.’ But it was my incredible support system that relentlessly reminded me whilst I was in the depths of despair, locked inside hospitals and psychiatric facilities that I did matter.
It was then that I began to wonder, if these words of support from my loved ones were able to help and encourage me to keep fighting, was there a way to use their words to support others in times of difficulty and darkness?
I suppose that was when my Messages of Hope seed was first watered and ever since, my Messages of Hope flower has continued to flourish and grow. Now, Messages of Hope is a campaign that encourages anyone and everyone to write anonymous messages for people that are going through a difficult time.
In 2020 I collected 200 messages in a week. I displayed all of the messages on a mural that I created in my kitchen, recorded a video of me creating the mural and tried to share as many of the messages as I could. I was determined to show everyone that was struggling how many strangers cared about them. I needed people to know that so many people cared about them.
Reading all of the message submissions, it was truly incredible and inspiring. People had written about their circumstances and struggles, they provided signposting information, and they wrote their favourite quotes, books, films, and TV shows that have helped them through difficult times, practical advice, and words of support, love, and wisdom. It was becoming clear that not only was this campaign giving hope to people who needed it most, but it was also giving a voice to people who just wanted to be heard.
Fast forward to 2022 and I was able to be a part of Thrive LDNs World Mental Health Day event in City Hall, London. My aim for this event was to create a mural that displayed anonymous messages of hope that could be showcased at City Hall. I was able to collect over 200 messages for this event and approximately 50 messages from attendees of the event, on the day.
So, what does the future hold for Messages of Hope?
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This Mental Health Awareness Week marks the beginning of an exciting collaboration between Thrive LDN’s Getting Through this Together campaign and Messages of Hope.
This collaboration will hopefully allow for our two campaigns to continue to grow and help and impact the lives of even more people and spread the message that one person anonymously wrote, ‘life may not always feel worth living but your life matters to someone.’ We aim to share one of your messages of hope every day via our social media platforms and work towards creating collaborative art projects that include your messages and hosting workshops.
If you would like to participate in the campaign, please visit @messagesof.hope or @throughtogether to anonymously submit your message.
So, my name is Bethan Evans and I’m a suicide survivor, unapologetically living with Borderline Personality Disorder and the creator of Messages of Hope, a campaign that spreads hope and saves lives.